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K Street Reports 2028

January 1, 2018

 

A King can never have too much gold because he must maintain an army.  Further that a King even if he wants to, can do no wrong, for all property belongs to the King and so do his subjects themselves: a man owns nothing but what the King in his goodness sees fit to leave him.  The King should in fact leave his subjects as little as possible because his own safety depends on keeping them from growing insolent with wealth and freedom.  For riches and liberty make people less patient to endure harsh and unjust commands, where as meager poverty blunts their spirits, makes them docile and grinds out of the oppressed the lofty spirit of rebellion.

 

Roman   Marcus Licinius Cassus     115 BC   53 BC                         

 

 

 

We interrupt everything for this month’s K Street Report from Washington D.C.

 

K Street Energy Director Homer Bush announced today that the demand for oil has reached an all time high.  New estimates are three years before the moratorium on new births can be lifted.

 

K Street Food Czar Stephanie Clinton announced today that the production of the Orange Pill will resume. Tests indicate that the loss of life is at acceptable levels. The White Dinner Pill can be followed by the new Green Evening Pill after a wait of two hours.

 

K Street Agency on Habitat Jethro Clinton announced today that last month’s record heat at the equator resulted in the loss of four and a half million lives. A lottery will select one-hundred million northern hemisphere citizens to be relocated to the southern hemisphere beginning this month.

 

K Street Agency of Development Stanly Bush announced today that due to increased arrests of domestic terrorists by homeland security, the inmate labor pool continues to grow and the completion of underground housing for another half million service sector workers is ahead of schedule.

 

K Street Health Minister Rocky Clinton announced today new Breathing Mask technology has increased the life expectancy of many young citizens and continued testing will improve adult skin protectors.

 

K Street Financial Czar Dick Bush announced today three eastern states have agreed to the U.S.A. Corporate Management Act and U.S.A. charges and fees will enable some North Americans to return from the Arctic Circle. Citizens are reminded that on each birthday your embedded value chip must be recalibrated to your new performance review.

 

K Street Health Treatment Director Bernard Clinton announced today that suicide numbers have been reduced due to the success of the Blue Pill.  The revision of music selections directed at cerebral implants will continue. Personal DNA must match required urine samples before monthly vouchers can be activated.

 

K Street Atmospheric Director Daisy Bush announced today that maximum daylight exposure is now reduced to one hour.  This will prevent skin lesions and blindness, especially to our aging population. Global commerce is to be conducted from sundown to sunrise. Businesses will now open at eight pm and close at four am, giving employees two hours to return home before sunrise. Daylight-Saving Time is terminated.


 

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